I hate you. With every fiber of my being I hate you. You are a weight tied to my ankles in this sea. There are times that I feel I have bested you. I feel happy and free. I forget about you and move on. Then something happens or nothing happens at all and you are back at my side like an unwanted follower. You gut my insides and make me feel hollow and dead. You sit on my chest and make it difficult for me to breath. You stand in between me and others. You silently whisper in my ear, convince me that I'm not good enough. You hang my mistakes on trees for me to see and you openly mock me for them. You make want to withdraw and be alone.
I don't know what you are. A curse, a demon, a chemical imbalance, a mental illness...
All I know is I don't want you. You draining me, feeding on me, killing me.
Jesus, I need you to save me today.
